You’re Always Teaching Something

Good Horsemanship is Built One Decision at a Time

I spent some time working with my mules Ruger and the Bean after getting back from teaching clinics in Kansas. Nothing flashy. No problems to solve. Just time, quiet hands, and animals doing what they already knew how to do. The kind of work that leaves room to think. It reminded me how little daylight there is between good horsemanship, doing our own inner work, and old ideas about kind words and right actions. Different language, same wiring.

Good therapy isn’t complicated. It’s hard work, done over time. Change how you think and what you do, and your feelings begin to change. You don’t wait to feel better before acting better. You act better first and the feelings catch up later.

Some Eastern traditions put it another way: choose your words and actions carefully and suffering eases. Not because life stops being difficult, but because you stop making it harder than it already is.

Horse training figured this out long ago. It just never bothered to name it. In horse terms, it’s simple. What you bring to the interaction shapes how the animal feels. How the animal feels, shapes how it responds. And those responses, repeated over time, become the partnership you live with.

Old horsemen didn’t talk about mindfulness. They said, “Pay attention.” They didn’t talk about emotional regulation. They said, “Don’t rush.” They didn’t talk about trauma or triggers. They said, “Leave your temper at the gate.”

They knew that clarity beats force, timing beats volume, and consistency builds trust. They also knew something we still resist admitting—you’re always teaching something, whether you mean to or not.

Good horsemanship isn’t magic. It’s built, one decision at a time.

That’s true whether you’re working with a horse, a mule, or yourself. The rules stay the same.

Stay with what’s happening right now. Horses never leave the present, yet humans leave constantly. We replay yesterday’s mistake. We borrow trouble from tomorrow. Then we wonder why our timing is off. Presence isn’t spiritual. It’s practical. You can’t release pressure at the right moment if your mind isn’t there.

Reduce unnecessary stress. 

Stress narrows vision in horses and in people. When pressure comes too fast or without clear purpose, learning stops. Resistance is often confusion. Defiance is often self-protection.

Good trainers know when to ask, and when it’s time to tell.

Change things slowly and on purpose. Horses don’t learn from explanations. They learn from repetition. People are no different. You don’t fix a bad habit in one session. You don’t build good habits by accident. You build them the same way every time, until they hold.

This is where horses and mules become honest teachers. They don’t respond to our intentions. They respond to what we actually do. They don’t care what we meant. They care about timing, pressure, and release. They reflect back exactly what we practice. That can be uncomfortable.

It’s easier to blame equipment. Easier to blame attitude. Easier to blame the animal. It’s harder to look closely at your own habits. But that’s where the work is. I’ve seen riders chase confidence in their animals while showing none themselves. I’ve seen fear met with force, and impatience met with noise. It rarely works, not because the animal is difficult, but because the approach doesn’t make sense.

The same thing happens away from the barn. People say they want calmer lives, steadier minds, and better relationships. Then they rush, react, and rehearse old stories. They wonder why nothing changes. Horses don’t let us hide from that. They tell the truth every time. The lesson isn’t dramatic. It’s quiet.

Improvement doesn’t come from adding more. It comes from removing what doesn’t help. Fewer mixed signals. Less emotional static. More deliberate choices. Kind words. Right actions. Clear cues. Fair timing.

Whether you’re in a round pen, on a long trail, or sorting through your own rough edges, the path forward looks the same. Slow, intentional, built one honest moment at a time.

If you’re looking for practical horse training ideas that hold up outside the arena, start at TrailMeister.com. You’ll find trail maps, safety guidance, and the largest horse-camping directory in the country, all built for people who actually ride out.

If you want the deeper dive, thinking through trail safety, preparation, and decision-making from A to Z, my books are available through Amazon and on the site:
– The ABCs of Trail Riding and Horse Camping
– It’s a Cinch!
– Daily Wisdom from the Saddle
They’re not about shortcuts or silver bullets. They’re about what works, lessons learned the hard way, and the long view that only comes from miles in the saddle. Same work. Just written down for when you need a reminder.